who he is

Some people that we know are dealing with some really, really sad things. We're dealing with some hard stuff. We've cried and are grieving and wrestling with the whys. We struggle with what to do with them in our own hearts, how to pray for and be with people in the midst. Crazy questions and ideas and accusations can crop up and haunt these vulnerable places in our souls. What do we do with the pain? Where do we go?

This morning David and I talked about the story in John 9 of the man born blind. Skeptics questioned Jesus--Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? I totally feel that question. What have we done wrong? But we've been reveling in Jesus' response--It was not that this man sinned or his parents, but that the works of God may be displayed in him. Job losing everything, Abraham and Sarah awaiting and awaiting and awaiting a baby, Mary and Martha wrenched by their brother's tomb, how many others? ...and every time it was the same story "that the works of God may be displayed." It's the same story. And that's what we want. We want his works in our lives because he is the all-wise, all-loving, all-good God. May we trust his goodness and his provision and his purpose.

Oh, may the works of God may be displayed within all of these aching unknowns and deep sorrows. Oh, may we remember and joyfully worship this God for just who he is. His purposes are good. Always.

sorrows, burdens

I went to a girl's house at 10 this morning--one of the sweeties that I tutor. The front door of the apartment was open. No one answered. I talked with a friend that's hurting and then I came back after a half hour and she and her sister were riding bikes in the faded black top parking lot. Brown stringy hair in their faces, bare feet, skinned toes. Filth crusting their clothes, too big for their small bodies. I couldn't stop staring at the blotch of dried coffee-ish-ness at her neckline. Their mom's asleep, later her uncle's taking them swimming so she can't do tutoring today. I left sad and texted David,

There are simply too many messes.

When I came home I made a list of twenty-seven crises that I'm watching and experiencing. I'm feeling a lot of weight. Feeling a lot of need. A lot of grief at the state of things:

division, betrayal, mistrust, bitterness, unforgiveness, miscommunication, no communication, drunkenness, addiction, borderline personality disorder, bipolarity, diabetes, failing pancreas, fighting, lies, unfaithfulness, cheating, swearing, Playboy, not disciplining children, not caring for children, disobedience, poverty, verbal abuse, prison, drugs, no rest, broken covenant, no covenant, being foreign, disobedience, no grace, condemnation, isolation, transient-ness, suicide, unloved, lost love, lost daughter, lost job, lost home, loneliness, distant marriage, pressure, pressure, worry, no work, too many bills, dizzyness, deafness, diabetes, anorexia, treatments, autism, delays, pornography, materialism, ignorance, money, disunity, chemical imbalance, inconsistency, intolerance, hate, physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, behavior modification, screaming, yelling, anger, impatience, medication, disillusionment, schizophrenia, attack, manipulation, masturbation, offense, fetal alcohol syndrome, dirty, cheating, misleading, conniving, scheming, slandering, screeching, threatening, recording wrongs, bullying, breaking rules, blaming. Uncleaned, uncared for, unprotected, unfed, unloved, untaught, undisciplined children. Resentment, jealousy, need, struggle, bitterness, hunger, judgment, comparison, misperception, loneliness, frustration, unresolved, unreconciled, lost community, lost trust, lost friendship, lost desire, lost hope, cancer, death, lostness, mourning, widow, death, widower, death, cancer, treatments, old age, junk, complications, paperwork, hoops, obstacles, governments, injustice, missed growth, unfulfilled hope, sickness of heart, issues, incessant crying, rage, removal, accusations, evil choices, pushing away, shutting out, selfishness, anger, avoiding eye contact, shame, widening gulfs, abuse

pass by me

Our church has been reading and thinking and talking and praying about this section from Mark 6 for the past weeks. It happens just after Jesus and the disciples broke a few loaves of bread and fed 5,000 people.

Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray. And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. And he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out, for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid. And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

In the midst of their exhaustion and the raging storm, Jesus meant to pass by. Really? Look at it. It sounds like he meant to walk right past them and meet them on the opposite side. He saw their distress and he didn't care? Like rubberneckers on the freeway after an accident. I'll just look at the trouble and say, "Bummer!" Jesus often confuses me, but this seems so contrary to his character. To see distress, to see his men making headway painfully and to pass by.

But then we were pointed to Moses and to Elijah. God also passed by them--passed by his chosen, stiff-necked, hard-hearted people. The disciples, Moses, Elijah (and often us, too) were/are in places of chaos, fear, separation, darkness. And God, the God who sees, passed by:

The Lord said to Moses, "I will make my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name 'The Lord.' And I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy....Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by."

And Elijah, when he was in great despair, hiding and wishing to die:

Behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him...

So I think about us. When we are in chaos, fear, separation, darkness.

Oh, God, pass by! Pass by and show us your goodness, let us know your grace, mercy. I want to see your glory. Let us be by you. Cover us. Speak to us with your low whisper.

May we see with our eyes--
        when the man on the water walks toward us,
hear with our ears--
        in the midst of the whipping wind, the earthquake, the fire,
understand with our hearts.

May we turn and be healed.

the fierce urgency of now

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.

We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope.

(excerpts from the I Have a Dream speech, given by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963)

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What dream do I have? May it be bigger than me, bigger than my life.

May we stand with faith, hope and discipline. May we stand for justice. Let  freedom ring!

hold fast to hope

Though he slay me, I will hope in him...
God breaks me down on every side, and I am gone,
and my hope has he pulled up like a tree. (Job 13, 19)

No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame. (Ps 25)

The war horse is a false hope for salvation...
Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love,
that he may deliver their soul from death
and keep them alive in famine. (Ps 33)

For the evildoers shall be cut off,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. (Ps 37)

My hope is in you. (Ps 39)

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God....
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God....
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God. (Ps 42, 43)

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him. (Ps 62)

Rescue me...
For you, O Lord, are my hope. (Ps 71)

Blessed is he...
whose hope is in the Lord his God. (Ps 146)

The Lord takes pleasure...
in those who hope in his steadfast love.
Praise! (Ps 147)

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13)

...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength... (Isaiah 40)

...I am the Lord;
those who hope in me will not be disappointed. (Isaiah 49)

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.... There is hope for your future. (Jeremiah 29, 31)

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good...
it is good...
there may yet be hope. (Lamentations 3)

I will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope. (Hosea 2)

"It is with respect to the hope and the resurrection of the dead that I am on trial.... I worship the God of our fathers, believing everything laid down by the Law and written in the Prophets, having a hope in God, that there will be a resurrection.... And now I stand here on trial because of my hope in the promise made by God to our fathers, to which our twelve tribes hope to attain, as they earnestly worship night and day. And for this hope I am accused." (Paul, Acts 23 to 26)

In hope Abraham believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations. (Romans 4)

Let us rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not disappoint us,
because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5)

Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. (Romans 8)

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15)

He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.... Since we have such a hope, we are very bold...the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (Paul, 2 Corinthians)

I pray...that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you. (Ephesians 1)

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to ... live godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2)

We who have fled for refuge might have a strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and certain anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the holy place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever... (Hebrews 6)

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
(Hebrews 10)

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you... (1 Peter 1)

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My Analysis and Synthesis

God delights in our hope.

Hope is called upon, tested in the fire of desire, need, affliction, longing, pain, sorrow, trembling.

Hope is blessing. Hope brings peace. Hope is joy. Hope and praise walk hand in hand.

The Spirit flows peace into our hearts.

Hope in the Lord is also translated Wait on the Lord. Hoping looks like waiting.

Our hope in God will not be disappointed. Hope is certain when it is hope in God--not in circumstances, not in relationships, not in any of a million other things. God-delighting hope, hope which will be fulfilled, hope that is blessing--that hope is in God alone.

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I think that hope is a paradox of a gift. A gift that brings gut-wrenching tears. A gift so good and so rich and so horrible that it is often left unopened under the Christmas tree. A gift only embraced by the most courageous, most broken among us. A gift that looks like poverty. A gift that looks a lot like a slut pouring out her entire life-savings on the feet of a carpenter, that looks like a shriveled old woman dropping the last of the grocery money into the offering, that looks like living in a foreign country alone, that looks like waiting too long for two children from Africa to come home, that looks like longing for life as a husband is being eaten by cancer.

O, that we would be the remnant who wholly embrace this gift.