what I want

I look at all advertising, all striving, all desire and basically it comes down to a few things, right? I mean what I really want is fulfillment. I watch people around me and I think that's what they're going after, too. 

Granted, we all have weird ways of going after this. This morning, I've already grouched, tried to control David, been distracted, scrambled to hide my laziness...yuck. But I think I'm doing all of those things because what I really want is goodness. I'm just looking for it wrong. I cannot--obviously--fulfill myself. Believing that I can is believing deception. 

When it comes right down to it we want goodness:

a revived soul,

steady wisdom for the simple,

a rejoicing heart,

enlightened eyes,

something eternally purposeful,

something entirely right,

something of high, high, highest value,

something sweet and delicious.

I held it in my own hands this morning! I held this book, the instruction, God's story and ways. And he promises that his word to us is all of these things:

reviving for the soul, steady wisdom,

joy for the heart, eyes that really see, purpose,

rightness, value, riches!

YES!!!! That is what I want!!

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
     be acceptable in your sight,
     O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

from Psalm 19

particularly excited about the waterfall...

resurrection

Now when he arose early

on the first day of the week,

he appeared first to

Mary Magdalene

from whom he had cast out seven demons. (Mark 16:9)

Jesus, who

are you? What

kind

of a man, a God

that you—pure,

holylovethatisfire—

go first to the woman—unclean,

shamed, despised—

the woman healed.

The woman come early worshipping,

bringing beauty and spices (from where?)

soft,following and ministering to

you

appeared. 

gnocchi with butternut squash, kale and sage

I really can't believe it, but this is my new favorite food in the cozy-but-not-soup category. And David really likes it, too! Dealing with the squash can be a bit tedious, but the actual making doesn’t take too long. In the future I'm planning to add bacon or sausage to the skillet. This time we had it with white beans on the side.

½ butternut squash—peeled, seeded, cubed

3 cloves garlic—sliced

a bunch of kale—stemmed, roughly chopped

1 t dried sage or 1 T fresh, chopped

¼ t red pepper flakes

olive oil/butter

kosher salt

1¼ c broth

17 oz package gnocchi

¾ c grated hard cheese

Preheat broiler. Concurrently, heat olive oil in skillet over medium heat and cover and cook squash until slightly soft, about 8 minutes. Add garlic, sage, red pepper and 1 t salt. Cook until garlic is softening.

Add broth to skillet. When it starts to simmer, add gnocchi, stirring to coat. Cover and cook until gnocchi are almost tender, about 3 minutes. Stir in kale and cook until it starts wilting, about 2 minutes. Uncover and stir in ¼ c cheese and 1 T butter. Sprinkle with ½ c cheese, transfer to broiler and cook until golden, about 3 minutes.

This is derived from a foodnetwork.com recipe.

rich

We are-- We are RICH. Thanks for the reminder, Sarah!

I think about this often when I laugh with David. When I have a friend to call. When I drive somewhere in a clunked up car—that was a gift, that we own flat-out, that works well! When I know that I am loved by my husband, my Dad & Mom, the rest of our family, our church, dear friends. When I drag myself out of the house to go to work. When I remember the adventurous adventures of my life. When I think of the gorgeous and rotating gallery of the artwork of the heavens that we get to witness every single day. When I think on beauty and hope of eternal salvation. When I remember the sacrifice of Christ and the fact that he’s given me the ability to believe and know him. When I pull food out of the pantry and it’s different from what we ate yesterday and it’s pretty and it fills our bellies and makes us strong. When I got that scary infection and the doctor had me come in right away, gave me medicine that worked. When I thank God that we can know his word in our language. When I see how God listens to our prayers and has moved. When I turn on the faucet and drinkable water comes out (or even lots and lots of piping hot water)! When I get to give neighbors tomatoes that grew in our garden.

That we can laugh and enjoy and cry and pray and run hard and sleep at night and hug each other tightly and know God and experience forgiveness and peace. Every single day. This is how I know I’m rich.

And even if I lost the car, the warmth, our savings account, the full belly, the clean water, my husband and family, this good health, O Lord, may I remember you. And in that remembrance, may I be rich.

My God will supply all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:19

a little log of memories: Starbucks and sweet friendships

Layers of memories flood me as I open the door, walk into coffee. David's in school and I get to sit in Starbucks for a few hours. No matter what anyone says, no matter how snobby I get about coffee or the corporate world--this place will always be a little treat.

Picking up Kindra and a short mocha when she got off at Pioneer Square. We were like 19. Yikes! 13 years ago?!

Iced drinks with the girls--Amanda, Amanda, Ligaya, Alison, Sheri--in the Portland summer.

Hanging and selling photos on Freemont.

Studying, reading, writing, laughing, talking. Summer, fall, winter, spring.

Catching up with Shannon off 99W, with Lisah Bennet in Oxnard. Ahhh...a deep breath with Nadia. And the same with Natalie. Even recently.

A job for Sarah in those early days and a Tai Chi latte.

A recess from Grandma's house when I stayed with her for a summer.

It's a reminder of a cappuccino in Ljubljana and the ease of focus in a familiar and crowded place where you can't understand a word. (I'm surrounded by Asians today.)

And yet it's also America to me. An American haven in Austria. Oh, how I love Starbucks. Makes me think of Becca and the Pitchers. And Christina, Johnny, Brooke, David & Katka and Julie. Trips to Czech, debriefing afterwards.

Pre-back-to-school road trip with Kristi's girls. And their visit to Salem :)

That fateful first IKEA trip day with the Jacksons.

David & Katka & Christina and a big cry and deep missing.

Pre-marital counseling with the Mormances.

A Sunday morning french press and restful conversation with my lover and best buddy.

I could keep going and going. There's a lot.

Oh! That six-ish hour talk...